Guilts
I feel guilty for not fitting in and not recognising myself.
That I pricked your curiosity and put that stupid ,
dumb smile on your face. Now you think me pretty, small and full of humour. I’ve always had guilt for not knowing what I want and making us both uncomfortable. That I made you do everything for two- under the guise of frailty and depression.
I also feel guilty for doing the next good thing., I left you hanging and blamed it on righteousness. That you died and I couldn’t bring myself to cry.
that I laughed , my brain and body learning loss and failing- terribly.
I’m guilty. I’m wishing for a happy ending when indeed you were the devil stealing bits of my innocence,
and making a quilt from my sore feathered tears.
I feel guilt knowing people have bigger problems than I do, but are my problems really that small?
I feeel guilty. no!… I feel angry, yes, angry for all the hurt in the world. that you’re starving and your brain and hands result to violence, assault, vandalism etc.
I feel guilty cause God is doing his part, and I'm not desperate enough
that he put in time
whirled my clock
to save me a seat in paradise.
lastly, I feel guilty about all the greed in the world
which would be a lie cause I still genuinely feel guilty or a least sorry,
sorry that I stole your kiss. sorry not sorry indeed.
